julesofnature:
“I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief.”
— Isaac Rowe

her real name

is never anger

it’s grief

or pain

or sorrow

or hurt

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

goodgirlsdoresearch:

understanding your emotions

means you can trace them back

to the thoughts behind them

seeing the thoughts clearly

means you can examine them

analyze them, find the cognitive distortions

challenge them, counter them

and see your emotions follow

into healthier and better places

just because you think it

doesn’t mean it’s true

just because you feel it

doesn’t mean it’s real

or accurate

own the fact

that you could be wrong

you will live

trapped

in trivia

until you learn

to let go

to see even the huge things

as small in the context of eternity

and just learn from your past

instead of permanently

camping in it

sit with it

stop running

it just piles up even more

until your choices leave you stuck

and now it’s a mountain to deal with

deal with the feelings

face the truth

the reality

of the consequences of your own choices

accept you made those choices

you were where you were

if you could have done things any differently

you would have

but you didn’t know what you didn’t know

you weren’t where you wish you could have been

forgive yourself for being where you were

forgive those who hurt you, betrayed you,

they were where they were as well

and then when you’ve done this enough

the feelings will fade

because you’ve actually done the work

you’ve processed the feelings

and you will be ready

to let it all go

don’t bury it

work through it

so it just fades away

How to Process Your Emotions
psych2go:

There are nuances to every emotion, and during any given moment, you can experience contradicting feelings. The elusiveness of your emotions can cause anxiety and stress without you knowing why. Often, the pursual of understanding why can lead you down the path of rumination and negative thinking.

Though rumination and negative thinking can exacerbate mental health problems, overall, it is a problem in itself. While rumination and negative thinking can devolve into an unconscious habit, some techniques can help you find a balance between ignoring your emotions and feeling overwhelmed by them.

So, how can you process your emotions?

1. Journaling
Being able to process your emotions starts with becoming aware of them. A popular tool is journaling. Many experts recommend writing down your emotions as it has been shown to reduce stress. A study published in 2005 by Karen A. Baikie and Kay Wilhelm from The Royal College of Psychiatrists in Australia recapitulated the many immediate and long-term benefits of journaling. According to earlier studies, some of the objective physical benefits of journaling are improved physical health such as blood pressure, liver function, and improved immune system.  

Although there is inconsistent evidence regarding whether or not journaling can improve psychological symptoms, a 2003 study found that expressive writing was beneficial for those with alexithymia, which has similar characteristics found among patients with psychosomatic or borderline personality disorders. Additionally, an article published by the University of Minnesota in 2016 found that expressing your emotions via writing, talking, or another medium, improved mental health in students who were refugees.
The key to successful journaling is contingent upon the way you journal. A successful method was to write about your deepest thoughts and feelings regarding an emotional issue that affected your life. While writing, the point is to let go. Allow your thoughts and words to be undisturbed. Do not worry about syntax or grammar. Just write. In the world of art theory and history, this journaling process is very similar to automatism. A concept that began in the Dada movement and was later used in surrealist art.

If you don’t feel comfortable writing down your thoughts, find a different outlet. There are many different ways to express yourself.

2. Ground yourself
Continue Reading…

there are no

bad feelings

wrong feelings

there are simply

harder feelings

grief, regret, sadness

anger, rage, loss

suppressing them

avoiding them

just dams them up

buries them underground

pressure builds and

they show up

in unhealthy ways

like pus squeezed out

of an infected wound

like pressure building

erupting in random, small geysers

until a volcano explodes

like pinhole leaks in a dam

that gradually expand into cracks

before the whole dam fails

feel them, process them,

let them flow through and observe

feel your feelings, honor them with their time

trace them back to the thoughts

that fed them, accept them,

seek to understand them

clean the wounds

so they can heal

onesecondbeforesunset:
I want to say somewhere: I’ve tried to be forgiving. And yet. There were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in. I scowled at the world. And the world scowled back. We were locked in a stare of mutual disgust. I used to let the door slam in people’s faces. I farted where I wanted to fart. I accused cashiers of cheating me out of a penny, while holding the penny in my hand. And then one day I realized I was on my way to being the sort of schmuck who poisons pigeons. People crossed the street to avoid me. I was a human cancer. And to be honest: I wasn’t really angry. Not anymore. I had left my anger somewhere long ago. Put it down on a park bench and walked away. And yet. It had been so long, I didn’t know any other way of being. One day I woke up and said to myself: It’s not too late. The first days were strange. I had to practice smiling in front of the mirror. But it came back to me. It was as if a weight had been lifted. I let go, and something let go of me.
— Nicole Krauss, The History of Love

holding on to anger

is like cradling

a poisonous viper

to your chest

process the hurt

that drove the anger

and release the poison

before it consumes you

accept what hurt you

accept whoever hurt you

they were where they were

you were where you were

there is no changing it

there is only acceptance

so you’re not trapped there, forever

forgiveness is for your freedom

a letting go of a way of being

that came out of being poisoned

by holding on to resentment

until you became

bitter

quotefeeling:

“Love didn’t hurt you. Someone who doesn’t know how to love you hurt you. Don’t confuse the two.”

— Unknown

understand

that you chose

your torturer

your attacker

you didn’t know

what you didn’t know

but their issues

aren’t everyone’s issues

let each person

show you who they are

without hanging your past on them

change is the only constant

process the pain, accept it

seek to gain understanding

so you can make better choices