living in now

damage

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

compassion intimacy conscious living now attachment dependence love freedom supply responsibility understanding condemnation stuck blind spots toxicity focus self definition grief trust healing self talk stumbles externalization growth success celebration pain progress wisdom manipulation triggers kindness detachment projection subconscious destination impermanence validation mindset choice adapt self acceptance challenges path of growth perception thoughts mindfulness disqualifying the positive present cooperation meditation self discovery learning narcissism convictions actions self forgiveness openness solitude anxiety breakup honesty care gratitude judgment respect soul death worth setbacks self deception flow people pleasing self reliance processing hope complaining bitterness strength resentment personas centering change action resetting response consistency self programming self love damage lessons boundaries expectations expectation grace safety self awareness triggered codependency isolation suppression death abundance cognitive distortions challenge relationships natural fear belief reset in your feelings counterdependence journey struggle persistence forgiveness truth trauma existing beliefs support control initiative intrinsic failure insecurity momentum authenticity definition life reality grounding commitment contentment magnification communication consequences reactivity rabbits self care worry peace denial insanity connection self control breathe goals hurt mistakes attachments attention choices vulnerability delusion weakness appreciation personal responsibility acceptance perfection suffering self knowledge self consciousness happiness feelings anger unstuck accountability
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