living in now

damage

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

hurt damage processing expectation respect peace setbacks self deception fear change success understanding rabbits now mindset definition blind spots triggered delusion complaining safety beliefs challenges progress persistence resentment externalization lessons breathe grace anxiety anger supply solitude honesty commitment abundance resetting action struggle appreciation adapt worry journey magnification self acceptance counterdependence convictions projection insecurity conscious living attention goals pain support grief perfection celebration attachment people pleasing personas triggers contentment self reliance responsibility attachments consistency validation bitterness stuck death trauma choice reactivity authenticity freedom choices suffering self consciousness narcissism cooperation path of growth belief challenge consequences disqualifying the positive self control love intimacy momentum insanity boundaries meditation self programming codependency existing grounding vulnerability weakness worth mindfulness soul death stumbles trust hope self discovery self forgiveness condemnation flow gratitude failure initiative manipulation truth self love feelings compassion judgment self care thoughts dependence acceptance present actions learning accountability communication centering healing connection care personal responsibility life strength detachment self definition subconscious self awareness forgiveness focus destination impermanence isolation perception denial response relationships suppression growth toxicity expectations happiness control intrinsic wisdom in your feelings reality unstuck kindness reset self talk cognitive distortions natural mistakes openness breakup self knowledge
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