living in now

damage

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

bitterness hope destination expectation personas self awareness damage breathe appreciation anger reactivity condemnation self acceptance choices magnification compassion struggle support narcissism self talk adapt perception manipulation soul death breakup kindness resetting people pleasing definition persistence perfection expectations self consciousness rabbits initiative trauma attachments truth attachment self forgiveness grounding disqualifying the positive response acceptance self knowledge boundaries self programming unstuck feelings insanity counterdependence responsibility convictions processing insecurity judgment mindset momentum respect action toxicity flow choice celebration self definition healing honesty cooperation forgiveness focus reality self reliance goals attention in your feelings understanding now self control progress hurt beliefs reset anxiety gratitude consequences blind spots detachment suppression dependence externalization subconscious worry consistency commitment denial impermanence resentment peace grief fear centering relationships challenge codependency path of growth mistakes freedom complaining care self deception solitude happiness authenticity isolation wisdom challenges actions accountability weakness abundance existing conscious living learning natural self care lessons delusion setbacks present grace change projection suffering contentment death self love trust success communication stuck openness meditation strength thoughts connection growth pain failure belief mindfulness worth love self discovery triggered vulnerability life control stumbles intrinsic journey validation safety personal responsibility intimacy triggers supply cognitive distortions
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