living in now

damage

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

honesty complaining commitment self discovery communication flow breathe personal responsibility safety vulnerability growth detachment reality unstuck appreciation perception freedom change people pleasing care disqualifying the positive attachments counterdependence narcissism healing self forgiveness pain openness choices existing meditation present happiness attention understanding responsibility mistakes persistence blind spots learning self control truth dependence weakness life damage solitude insanity consistency delusion attachment compassion death progress gratitude mindfulness processing reset celebration beliefs in your feelings self consciousness self love definition fear self care subconscious grief thoughts conscious living validation toxicity triggers lessons judgment projection trust support strength self knowledge boundaries rabbits condemnation self programming stuck worry personas journey connection impermanence abundance denial struggle failure now anger feelings supply forgiveness setbacks self acceptance mindset contentment self awareness hope wisdom challenges triggered consequences perfection expectation accountability suffering cooperation initiative path of growth challenge magnification resentment self reliance response self talk expectations trauma success hurt peace worth isolation goals kindness actions breakup codependency resetting reactivity adapt intrinsic externalization momentum relationships anxiety belief natural destination focus grounding suppression choice self deception intimacy cognitive distortions grace convictions respect self definition manipulation control love acceptance stumbles insecurity bitterness action centering soul death authenticity
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