living in now

damage

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

abundance stumbles dependence initiative appreciation self talk respect trauma unstuck honesty triggers existing self reliance people pleasing freedom perception happiness beliefs change worth breathe self consciousness celebration denial setbacks meditation path of growth self deception resetting conscious living care externalization codependency love truth failure complaining life accountability definition intrinsic validation actions kindness soul death bitterness grace support convictions communication cognitive distortions momentum destination response mindfulness acceptance connection strength reality choices self knowledge subconscious peace in your feelings expectations attachment personal responsibility expectation persistence processing projection anger control death boundaries struggle supply suffering grief understanding rabbits blind spots cooperation fear judgment hurt resentment self acceptance reset self discovery reactivity damage self definition perfection action impermanence wisdom pain self programming feelings personas magnification consequences present vulnerability challenge self love gratitude condemnation thoughts lessons toxicity delusion openness journey responsibility learning relationships mistakes belief focus self control isolation intimacy growth consistency success progress centering commitment natural insanity anxiety manipulation safety adapt attention breakup narcissism flow forgiveness self awareness worry contentment challenges insecurity hope choice suppression healing compassion attachments solitude grounding detachment authenticity now self forgiveness goals trust stuck disqualifying the positive self care weakness mindset counterdependence triggered
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