living in now

personas

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

commitment breathe death conscious living persistence freedom soul death gratitude self awareness damage relationships resetting journey grounding reactivity momentum setbacks triggers subconscious manipulation trust externalization solitude wisdom mindset consistency accountability safety struggle support intrinsic challenge communication centering codependency supply challenges choices connection disqualifying the positive action attention definition triggered fear natural anger self acceptance feelings self love hurt self talk condemnation suppression choice stumbles denial beliefs actions dependence happiness grace attachment meditation validation anxiety weakness strength appreciation goals in your feelings mindfulness initiative people pleasing magnification stuck insecurity detachment personal responsibility cognitive distortions adapt self control lessons mistakes hope acceptance now self discovery perfection thoughts boundaries honesty control contentment failure cooperation self definition expectation impermanence self deception focus trauma perception unstuck self care pain suffering responsibility expectations self forgiveness path of growth forgiveness toxicity counterdependence worry attachments love learning life resentment care personas narcissism complaining reality projection intimacy authenticity self reliance consequences convictions compassion healing self programming rabbits vulnerability judgment progress insanity destination change growth blind spots present existing self knowledge success flow celebration reset bitterness abundance understanding openness breakup truth worth processing belief isolation delusion self consciousness kindness grief response respect peace
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