living in now

personas

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

self talk conscious living path of growth belief compassion self control isolation soul death success anxiety safety love triggered authenticity disqualifying the positive worry contentment goals self reliance worth bitterness reactivity codependency cognitive distortions attachment anger toxicity validation trauma triggers wisdom reset struggle strength peace detachment insanity response resentment people pleasing definition persistence intimacy control forgiveness hope subconscious breakup rabbits support momentum beliefs narcissism judgment in your feelings progress perfection flow attachments gratitude vulnerability healing attention solitude honesty natural present dependence communication grief focus manipulation denial self love self consciousness supply stuck suppression choice growth mindset self discovery consequences suffering commitment failure magnification choices self definition personal responsibility destination thoughts mistakes kindness openness reality initiative change self acceptance existing respect feelings expectations mindfulness accountability fear damage consistency setbacks personas truth lessons self programming actions complaining abundance adapt self deception centering boundaries relationships grounding trust meditation convictions expectation celebration cooperation breathe challenge insecurity condemnation care counterdependence responsibility understanding self forgiveness self knowledge appreciation impermanence connection self awareness happiness self care stumbles pain learning processing resetting hurt action blind spots weakness life death projection journey acceptance freedom grace delusion unstuck perception challenges externalization now intrinsic
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