living in now

personas

the “ok” suit is temporary

penbrydd:
Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.
Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.
Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

curlyspoonie:
Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

hollowedskin:
See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room.

That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…
it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

genuinely being ok

is not the same

as holding your “ok” suit

together until you’re

somewhere private

processing connection anxiety solitude supply self control stumbles breathe insanity dependence success fear destination hurt codependency setbacks self knowledge blind spots gratitude intimacy bitterness beliefs reactivity anger attention damage disqualifying the positive subconscious projection unstuck belief worry acceptance strength triggered feelings personal responsibility self love isolation death personas pain mistakes self programming validation control manipulation centering breakup contentment trust abundance natural hope responsibility care struggle momentum lessons path of growth grace trauma journey counterdependence externalization toxicity actions compassion self definition magnification worth safety suppression rabbits self care triggers detachment mindset challenge perception support appreciation attachment action now vulnerability expectations honesty delusion conscious living present truth growth narcissism consistency relationships impermanence cooperation adapt complaining change insecurity denial convictions stuck forgiveness in your feelings perfection understanding self reliance persistence boundaries consequences self awareness resentment kindness existing openness happiness attachments accountability challenges grounding cognitive distortions freedom progress self acceptance focus response judgment flow goals choices respect wisdom commitment people pleasing celebration communication healing soul death suffering choice self deception grief authenticity self consciousness weakness peace self talk definition learning reset love reality self discovery life condemnation thoughts mindfulness expectation initiative self forgiveness failure meditation resetting intrinsic
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