For me, I just come to a place of recognizing they are who they are.
Who am I to want something different for them?
And stepping out of the way to allow them to do what they are going to do anyways.
And recognizing that I love them just the same, but there comes a place where a healthy relationship can no longer be maintained for either one of us.
They may care in their own way, but I am asking something of them that they are incapable of.
— mal

when you’ve done

all you can

to be there for someone

trapped in a narcissistic

and devaluing pattern

freedom

is realizing this truth

themindsjournalposts:
“When you complain you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
— Eckhart Tolle

start with

accepting the current reality

you’re in the situation

because your choices,

your path, led you here

then seek to understand

your own choices

so you can make new, better ones

the truth

will burn

burn the illusions we chose

we built

to avoid facing the ugly

about ourselves

but there is no growth

without facing reality

seek to understand

pay the price of the pain

the only way out

is through

goodgirlsdoresearch:

understanding your emotions

means you can trace them back

to the thoughts behind them

seeing the thoughts clearly

means you can examine them

analyze them, find the cognitive distortions

challenge them, counter them

and see your emotions follow

into healthier and better places

just because you think it

doesn’t mean it’s true

just because you feel it

doesn’t mean it’s real

or accurate

own the fact

that you could be wrong

books-n-quotes:
“If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth” – Carl Sagan

don’t run from the truth

start with the truth

about yourself

the truth will set you free

even from yourself

sit with it

stop running

it just piles up even more

until your choices leave you stuck

and now it’s a mountain to deal with

deal with the feelings

face the truth

the reality

of the consequences of your own choices

accept you made those choices

you were where you were

if you could have done things any differently

you would have

but you didn’t know what you didn’t know

you weren’t where you wish you could have been

forgive yourself for being where you were

forgive those who hurt you, betrayed you,

they were where they were as well

and then when you’ve done this enough

the feelings will fade

because you’ve actually done the work

you’ve processed the feelings

and you will be ready

to let it all go

don’t bury it

work through it

so it just fades away

be kind

supportive

compassionate

understanding

with yourself,

past and present

as you would be

with your closest, dearest friend

but don’t cut yourself

any slack, don’t spoil yourself

coddle, enable, excuse,

justify toxicity, reactivity

and call it “loving” yourself

self “love” without self awareness

isn’t actually valuing yourself

enough to do what is best for you

no matter how hard it may be

it is, instead, a path to

egocentric, solipsistic narcissism

quotemadness:
“Every positive change in your life begins with a clear, unequivocal decision that you are going to either do something or stop doing something.”
— Brian Tracy

no.

positive change

starts with

self-awareness

and owning your shit.

quotefeeling:
“If you focus on failure, you can never succeed. If you focus on being hurt in a relationship, you can never be loved. Whatever you focus on, you create.”
— John Assaraf

focus

amplifies

reinforces

augments

increases

the subject

of the focus

be careful

what you choose

to focus on

because

it will crowd out everything else

fallenangel7719:

over time

people will always

show you who they are

listen to what they do

more than what they say

realize

you’re not fooling anyone

either