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5 Reasons We Bottle Up Our Emotions And What To Do

psych2go:

Riley reminisces a beautiful memory with her parents, when both of them were laughing heartily on their moving journey from Minnesota to San Francisco. Sadness, one of the emotions who resides in Riley’s mind, touches the memory orb, and the memory changes from yellow colour (which represents Joy) to blue (which represents Sadness). Joy is shocked and she still cannot figure out what role Sadness has to play and what purpose Sadness is in Riley’s mental health. Joy picks up a core memory involving Riley’s teammates and parents dancing after a big hockey game. Joy had always thought this core memory was a happy one, but after rewinding the memory, Joy realizes that initially Riley was sad. Her sadness caused her parents to reach out to console her and with the help of Riley’s teammates, they were able to make a sad scene a happy one.

Yes, that is one of the important scenes in the Academy Award winning film, “Inside Out”.

“Positive vibes only.”

How often do we hear of this phrase? It may be well-intentioned, however the societal demand to be happy-go-lucky all the time and not showing their real feelings can lead people to become neglectful towards real emotions and cause them to bottle them up.

Let us all visualize a situation, whereby you hold a heavy stack of books for a long distance. How would you feel? Surely you would feel exhausted and blinded with what’s directly in front of you, right?

A Harvard Medical School psychologist, Susan David, Ph.D. (2020) has once stated that bottling happens when people tend to sweep their emotions under the rug and force toxic positivity rather than accepting genuine emotions with compassion. This can eventually lead to an amplification effect.

So, what are the 5 reasons we bottle up our emotions and what are the appropriate steps that can be taken to counter this?  

1. We are afraid that our emotions would be invalidated by others

Continue Reading…

there are no bad feelings

just harder feelings

avoiding and suppressing them

drives them underground

where the pressure

builds like a volcano

and, unprocessed, unfelt

they turn toxic and

guaranteed to leak

and eventually erupt

like pus out of an infected wound

only to be buried, suppressed again

repeating the cycle

without acceptance

and understanding

Actions Speak

quotefeeling:

“I don’t trust words, I trust actions.”

Unknown

you are not

who you think you are

who you tell yourself you are

who you want to believe you are

who you want others to think you are

you are

what you actually do

and changing that

begins with

brutal honesty with yourself

facing the truth your actions and choices reveal

about who you are

avoiding no ugly truth

no hard feelings

accepting who you are revealed to be

working diligently to understand yourself

and then out of acceptance and understanding

making new, better choices

over and over

people lie to themselves

thoughtkick:

“Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves.”

Don Miguel Ruiz (via perfectquote)

self-awareness

is not self-consciousness

know thyself

it is the beginning

of wisdom

and a lifelong task

because we hate

to face our own ugliness

self-consciousness

seeks to manipulate

and control

how others perceive you

out of insecurity and

desperation to be

liked, accepted, validated

as a substitute

for genuine self-awareness

acceptance, understanding

growth, and change

reality manipulation learning anger change disqualifying the positive personas understanding celebration grounding convictions in your feelings delusion suffering self deception connection self programming dependence hope impermanence solitude relationships focus present insecurity damage people pleasing healing narcissism adapt strength growth reset supply self care existing commitment belief vulnerability perception complaining setbacks natural attachment communication magnification goals intimacy accountability grace authenticity breathe self consciousness contentment grief self awareness triggered intrinsic blind spots counterdependence support self reliance consistency stumbles expectations reactivity response self control acceptance forgiveness kindness detachment destination self love condemnation thoughts love projection honesty self definition cooperation trust lessons subconscious unstuck insanity actions triggers judgment appreciation hurt respect wisdom anxiety toxicity worth death attention soul death boundaries consequences initiative feelings definition mindfulness pain path of growth trauma rabbits worry breakup truth personal responsibility self knowledge meditation control compassion choices progress bitterness mindset processing challenge journey openness peace care codependency attachments denial fear challenges struggle stuck perfection responsibility externalization momentum action self forgiveness safety self talk cognitive distortions now choice mistakes self discovery centering success flow resetting freedom suppression beliefs happiness abundance validation conscious living persistence gratitude weakness expectation life resentment isolation failure self acceptance
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